


All Hallow's Eve

by SparklinBurgndy



Category: Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs
Genre: Blood Drinking, DA Universe, Gen, Lost Village Universe, Vampires, cartoon universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 11:08:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21196673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklinBurgndy/pseuds/SparklinBurgndy
Summary: This is a blend of the cartoon 'verse, the Lost Village 'verse and a bit of DA 'verse.  Stellaurbe, the Smurf City, is my own creation. Brainy gets hired out of magical uni to be a celebrity's live in defense against the dark arts.





	1. Chapter 1

“You must be Brainy! Come on in!”

Brainy Smurf tried not to let his excitement show. He hadn’t been familiar with the concept of celebrities when his village and their sister village had relocated to the Smurf city of Stellaurbe, but one of the first things he learned was that Bad Example Smurf was a big one.

The newssheets were filled with a steady diet of her antics, including shocking songs, wild clothes, and legendary parties. In a few short months, Brainy had become something of a fan. But he never expected to be chosen to be in the singer’s employ! He thought. Well, pretty sure it was a job. Bad Example’s manager hadn’t been real clear on his exact duties, but he was expected to stay in her apartment. 

“Are you hungry? I know Schmoozer hustled you over here fast.”

Against all sense and reason, Brainy’s first thought was that Bad Example would be taller. She was firmly on the lower side of average; maybe about Smurfmelody’s height. His second thought was that, stripped of her outrageous stage makeup and with her dyed pink hair falling down around her back, she looked quite sweet. She also looked really tired. There were dark circles under her eyes.

“I – um –I don’t want to trouble you, Miss Bad Example.”

“You’re no trouble; I was going to make something for myself anyway. And call me Exie.”

“Oh, then yes, . . . Exie.”

“Great! I’ll show you your room and then we can eat.”

The room was utilitarian, but better than what the city elders had him in and far better than he had known back in the village. There was enough room for a magical working space, but the only tool was an empty cauldron sitting on the floor.

“So . . . you _have_ used magic in defense of life before, right? Yours or someone else’s?” Exie asked as he put his suitcase on the bed.

“Yes. More times than I care to remember,” Brainy admitted.

“Good.”

“So . . . . that’s why I’m here? Magical protection?”

“Yes. Have a seat,” Exie gestured to a counter facing into the kitchen. 

Brainy sat.

He had been attending the Invisible University for magic since he had arrived in Stellaurbe. Not that life before then had been the safest in the world. Brainy sniffed. Sitting on a counter next to the window was a large clove of garlic. Human sized garlic, not the small variety smurfs cultivated. Exie turned to say something, but followed his gaze to the garlic.

“It didn’t work,” she said simply.

There were a lot of questions he could have asked. Instead, he stood up and gently brushed Exie’s hair away from her neck. There were several bite marks in various stages of healing.

“Apparently, I’m delicious.”


	2. Chapter 2

“What did they look like?” Brainy asked.

“They looked like Smurfs except for the fangs. You believe me?”

“I don’t think you’re stabbing yourself in the back of the neck.”

“Thank you for giving me that much credit!” Exie said. “Evidently being a celebrity makes me insane.”

“Did you invite them in?”

“Of course not!”

“And they looked like Smurfs . . . male or female?”

“There’s two males that come together and a female that comes alone.”

“Three of them? That’s – very dangerous.”

“I know; that’s why you’re here. Carpenter ant fried rice okay?”

Brainy was silent for moment, then realized Bad Example was talking about dinner. The Smurfs of Stellaurbe ate a lot more insects than he was used to, but he wasn’t about to get picky.

“Yeah, that’s fine. How often do they come?”

“One of them shows up once every four or five days.”

“When was the last time one came?”

“Two days ago the two males were here,” Exie said, starting to grill vegetables.

“So they probably won’t come tonight. I’ll still put up some wards but I’ll need to get better supplies.”

“You do whatever you need to,” Exie said.

An hour later as they sharing a meal of carpenter ant and rice, Exie gave him a sideways look.

“That’s really going to work?”

Posted at every doorway and window was a line of salt, two crossed iron nails, and a carefully lettered card that read: Miss Bad Example regrets that she is accepting no visitors at this time.

“Well, if they really pressed it wouldn’t hold,” Brainy admitted. “Your vampires are likely Grey Smurfs, which often have an Unseelie background. Fairies don’t like iron, hold hospitality to be very important, and salt is good for repelling bad energies. Again, if they really wanted in, they could probably pass those. I’ll get some proper wards up tomorrow when I have the supplies.”

“What if they do come tonight?”

Brainy let out a breath. He could hardly tell her to stop worrying, as she was being brutalized by not just one, but three, blood sucking pixies. The young wizard put down his chopsticks.

“This shrimp salad is delicious, by the way.”

He went back to his tools and found a small iron bell. He found some wards and a dried holly berry. Brainy braided them together in a short rope, came back to the kitchen and tied them around Exie’s wrist.

“Silver wire and hawthorn wood would be better. I’ll get some tomorrow. But this should hold you through the night.”

“Thank you. I – I mean it; thank you.”

“No problem.”

And if he found the cards shredded on the ground in the morning, Brainy felt he could keep it to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist! But it's canon.

In fact, the wards held as they were for nearly a fortnight; Brainy didn’t find the black thread holding the shutters closed broken until a full two weeks later. By that time, the inside of the windows was laced with a protective mandala of black and silver thread, so the intruders still didn’t get in.

Brainy was researching on something more permanent to repel the vampires when a skein of pink hair tumbled over his shoulders.

“I ordered a pizza, so don’t zap the delivery smurf,” Exie said, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“I won’t,” Brainy said, feeling heat creep into his cheeks.

He had a fanboy crush on Exie before he had even met her. When he first started working for her, he tried to keep it cool and professional. But at this point, he was starting to slip back into the crush stage. It didn’t help that Exie was egregiously physically affectionate towards him. Brainy could be guaranteed at least three hugs a day and had even gotten a quick peck on the lips when he gifted her with a necklace charmed to keep throat-biters at bay. Her hair was soft and she smelled faintly of lily-of-the-valley. 

“Whatcha doing?”

“Um . . looking for a way to make you perfectly safe from blood sucking pixies. Permanently.”  
“I love that idea! Keep it up!” Exie said, throwing her arms around his neck.

Brainy spluttered. He was saved from having to come up with a response by a knock on the front door. 

“The pizza’s here! I’ll bring you a slice.” 

Exie bounded towards the front door. Brainy barely had time to look back at his book before a scream ripped through the apartment. Exie stumbled back towards him. An unseen person hurled a pizza box at her.

“I don’ know who did yer wards, ye bloody tart, but they don’ work if ye open the door.”

“Get to your bedroom, lock the door, bind the handle and salt across the threshold,” Brainy ordered, pushing Exie back towards her bedroom. The smurfette didn’t argue.

Brainy took in a deep breath. There were two male smurfs standing in the doorway. Their manner of dress was rustic – they probably couldn’t live within the city – and they were big. They could probably have kicked Brainy’s tail the old fashioned way. Luckily, the Invisible University was big on defensive magic. 

Sometimes the best defense was a good offense.

Brainy blasted the bulkier of the two with a couple thousand thaums that lit up the night. There was no time for celebration, however, as the more slender vampire was suddenly behind him, driving a taloned hand _into_ his back and lifting him up by his ribcage.

“Yeh fight pretty well for a white wizard,” he growled. “But at this point yeh’ve just pissed us off.”

Brainy choked, tasting blood. One of those talons must have nicked a lung. The desire to lash out again warred with the better choice to start a healing spell. There was a third option. Brainy usually kept it shelved, but between the injury and the battle it was fast becoming less of a choice and more of an irresistible urge.

“Yer pink-haired tart ain’t tha’ delicious!” The first vampire growled, his chest purple with magical burns. “We’re going to drain her dry while you bloody watch, mate!”

“The last thing she’ll see is her own blood spraying across yer face,” the vampire holding him promised. 

The vampire hurled him _through_ Exie’s bedroom door, letting Brainy break his own wards. They still burned; he had set them to repel all monsters. Oh yeah, that tore it; option C was coming down the pike.

“Brainy!”   
Exie was backed up in the corner, wielding one of her guitars like a club. The twin vampires were before her. She swung hard at the big one, but he skipped back. She caught the slender one on the backswing hard enough to splinter the neck of the guitar. 

“Good swing,” he commended, “but not good enough.”

That should have terrified her into total submission. That should have those purple eyes wide with fear. Instead, the smurfette was looking _past_ him. There was a collection of odd, gristly noises behind him. The slender vampire turned.

A weresmurf shook off the last scraps of the wizard’s clothing. The creature’s head brushed the ceiling. Glow light gleamed off of indigo fur. The creature took in the two vampires holding the pink haired smurfette and _growled_. Exie felt the remains of the guitar ripped from her hands. There next few minutes were a confusion of speed, slashing, biting, and blood. Only a few images stuck in her mind; the bulkier vampire trying to prise his twin from the weresmurf’s jaws. Then both vampires were on his back, sinking their teeth into his shoulders. There was a subsonic scream from some creature. There was a splatter of blood that left Exie squinting her eyes. When she opened them wide again, the weresmurf that had been her nerdy live-in wizard howled in triumph in the doorway. It turned back towards her, limping heavily on one front leg. 

Exie cringed further into the corner. 

The werebeast saw this, cast around, gingerly picked up the shattered guitar in its teeth and gently deposited it in Exie’s lap. She almost laughed. It was one of her favorites; an Azureleaf 433. She had been composing a love story for Brainy on it. Sure, he was originally there to protect her, but she really liked the young wizard. He didn’t treat her like a celebrity trophy or the musically talented disaster that she was. She was starting to hope . . . 

The weresmurf laid down beside her and laid his head in her lap, pushing aside the broken guitar.

Then again . . . so what if he turned into a weresmurf occasionally? 

He was a ferocious protector and apparently, she was delicious. Exie relaxed slightly and ran a hand over the indigo fur.

**Author's Note:**

> Wanting to write something, got inspired by my Sims 4 game. Apparently, some Sims have extra delicious plasma and vampire visits are a real problem. My Exie Sim is one of those. I just got the magic expansion pack, so cue the nerdy wizard Brainy being her live-in defense against the dark arts. There's going to be a twist, as I rediscovered something watching old Smurfs episodes on Youtube.


End file.
